Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Thorny Topic of Relationships

Valentine's Day approaches. Our minds turn to thoughts of love and relationships.

Beyond the red hearts and fluffle (my word for what goes on on February 14) there often lies much angst.

"Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Rumania."
- Dorothy Parker

As a rule I avoid writing on the topic of relationships, leaving it to my professional colleagues to tippy toe through that minefield. It's a tricky subject at best, and from personal experience I can confirm that though astrology can be initially helpful, even with all astro boxes ticked, one can still come to grief. Actually that should be "two can still come to grief".

Would-be lovers or participants in relationships of any sort often seek the advice of astrologers. This is a wise move, in my view. Before doing so though, it's advisable to read up a little on the basic principles behind astrological doctrine. If this seems like too much of a chore, the seeker may not benefit as fully as he or she might have done from what the astrologer has to say.

Alternatively, an individual with with the soul of a gambler will trust his/her gut feelings in all matters of love and relationships. In some cases this can be even safer than following an astrologer's advice. Gut-feeling can come from a kind of psychic second-sight, aka intuition. Not always though. A mix of astrology and gut-feeling would cover more ground. There's no totally risk-free method for determining success in matters of love, friendship, or life in general....that's my one absolute truth.

Personally, when it comes to relationship queries I always turn to Robert Camp's book "Love Cards". His system is complex and rooted in the mists of time. The system has astrological connection, and seems to bundle this with some other mysterious ingredient. More often than not, in my own experience, it has been reliable. A glance at some of the customer reviews of the book at Amazon (here) confirms that others share my confidence in Camp's system.

At the end of the book is a section called "Bringing More Conscious Awareness into our Personal Relationships". As part of this section the author lists his "Nine Golden Truths of Relationships" and expands on each of them. I'll list the headings only. They, in themselves, are quite telling, but some do need to be expanded upon to be fully understood.

1. We are the ones who choose our partners, not the other way around.

2. No one can make us stay in a bad relationship but ourselves.

3. Though together, we each choose our current relationship for our own personal and specific reasons.

4. All we can see in our partner is ourself.

5. We cannot hurt others and others cannot hurt us. We can only hurt our self.

6. The best thing we can do to love and help our partner is to love our self.

7. Love always wants more of itself and love always brings up everything unlike itself.

8. Lying destroys imtimacy.

9. Marriage is not forever.

Robert Camp finishes by saying:
"These nine truths can be very helpful in separating the truths from the lies we tell ourselves. They can help us through the maze of emotional turmoil and give us some anchors in reality upon which we can depend. If we remember them in times of need, they will be of help."


Wisewebwoman said...

Great post, T. I passed those wise words on to my daughter who is struggling a little at the moment in a relationship.

Wink Gal said...

Hi again Twilight. An interesting list, and while I disagree with a couple of the items posted, I feel I can definitively affirm that item no. 6 is so, so, so truthful, and coupled with the item that posits that we see ourselves in our partners should be at the forefront of any person's serious thoughts about their relationships.

R Phoenix said...

Going through a divorce right now, I can truthfully say that Camp's system has merit, as I am a Two of Clubs and my soon-to-be-ex-wife is an Ace of Spades (my karma card). Moral of the story? Don't marry your karma card unless you want to do some heavy lifting.

Twilight said...

WWW ~~~ Glad it's of help - the wisdom is from Robert Camp though.
Me? I'm as much of a dope as anybody when it comes to lurrrrve.

Twilight said...

Hello Wink Gal ~~~ Agreed. And yes, some points sound a bit iffy to me too, they need more explanation, which Camp does offer. My typing fingers were too lazy to copy it all! :-)

Twilight said...

R Phoenix ~~~ Oh yes, I recall you mentioned once before that you're familiar with The Camp system....and a Club too, like me.
I'm King of Clubs, as it happens, and my two closest and longest lasting relationships have been with my two Past Life Cards Queen of Clubs and Ace of Diamonds.

Sometimes I find this stuff just too damned spooky for comfort!

I'm sad about your coming divorce, Robert. Had one myself many, many Moons ago. It's a painfully taken fork in the road that can lead somewhere much better - you'll see.

anthonynorth said...

Interesting thoughts. As someone who tries to find understanding in everything, you've chosen the subject that draws blank.
Relationships are, I'm sure, the last enigma to be truly understood.

Twilight said...

AN ~~~ We are, perhaps, not meant to understand 'em - they could be tests which Nature sets for us.