NC Tom's imaginative comment I'd stumbled across again, two years on, rings ever more insightful by the month. At present, in our drought-ridden south-western section of Oklahoma, outdoor watering of grass and gardens is restricted to just two designated days and must be done before 9 am. A complete ban on outdoor watering waits in the wings.
Comment written by NC Tom in 2012:
The year is 2020. 86 year old [James] Inhofe is up for re-election. Perryton and Woodward Oklahoma have been abandoned because of lack of water. The only farmable land is near the state's lakes, where they can be used for irrigation. The meager rainfall the state has been receiving for the last decade has not been able to keep those lakes full, and their level noticeably drops every year. The situation is unsustainable.
At a mid October campaign rally, the still defiant Inhofe railed against those "ecology nuts" that said man made climate change was getting so bad that within 10-15 years the heartland of the country would be uninhabitable. "What the hell do those idiots know?" He yelled as loud as his old man lungs would allow so he could be heard over the bank of fans that were doing their best to keep him cool. "This is just 'La Grande Nina'* causing this little heat wave. Plus it's mid October, and it's supposed to be hot!"
That first Tuesday in November most of Oklahoma was experiencing daytime temps of 140 − 145 degrees F. For safety reasons it was decided to hold the election at night, when the temps got down to the tolerable mid 90s.
Turnout was better than expected because everyone who went to the polls would get a free hand held fan with the image of none other than Jesus Christ himself on it, with the slogan "Jesus Cools" sprawled across the top.
The next morning the election results were no surprise, Inhofe won hands down. His campaign platform of "Don't let the environmental wackos, take away your pickup." was hugely popular.
Later that day a representative from Koch Industries congratulated him on his win. Inhofe thanked them for all the money they had given him over the years, and he also thanked them for the retreat they had built for him and his family in northern Alaska, called "Tulsa Two" or 2Ts for short.
He chuckled over the phone, "I don't know why everybody is whining about the weather around here, up there at 2Ts things are just fine..."
*Note: La Grande Nina was coined by the Heritage Foundation, in an attempt to explain away the high temps.
Then there's this, from Tuesday this week:
A series of earthquakes rocked Oklahoma over the weekend - six Friday night alone - thus continuing an alarming trend: Already this year, the state's 252 quakes have "crushed" last year's record of 222 quakes.
Hmm.
“What you’ve got to understand, son,” says the doctor, “is it’s all the fault of the alien space bats.”
(Cory Doctorow, The Rapture of the Nerds: A tale of the singularity, posthumanity, and awkward social situations.)
