You know the strange feeling that comes along occasionally - the feeling that you need to turn around, and when you do, there's someone staring at you? I experienced a variation on it the other day.
Starting at the beginning with some background or this'll sound even sillier.
A couple or so years ago, I was thinking about my first ever boss - Mr. H. I'll call him. I was always very fond of Mr. H. he taught me a lot, about politics and life in general - no romance though - more "in loco parentis" as he used to say. He died in the late 1990s. Mr. H. had three sons, the eldest of whom I'd met once or twice when he was around 7 years old, then later as a teen (I'll call him RH ). RH emigrated to work in California after university, had some kind of falling out at home I understood, but the rift was healed later on. Anyway, on that day a couple of years ago, thinking about Mr. H. I idly typed into Google's search box RH's name. It landed on a blog written by someone of that name. I read through many entries, soon realising that this was the same RH, son of Mr. H. He even mentioned and described his father's work, and other family members, in some posts. I decided to make myself known, so left what I considered to be a very nice comment, remembering his Dad with affection and admiration, and remembering RH himself as a youth. I expected to at least receive an acknowledgement in response - but nothing. Kept looking back - nothing. I felt a wee bit hurt for a while (sensitive soul that I am) then forgot about it.
A few days ago the incident popped into my mind again - for no apparent reason. "I wonder if RH is still blogging?" Google search box - again. Ahead of the entry for his blog were several obituaries from members of an association of which he'd been a longtime member. RH had died in 2010, in his 50s, after suffering a stroke, recovering and - I assume then suffering a fatal stroke soon after. He had posted entries on his blog just a week or so before he'd died.
I tried to find my comment, but in spite of skimming once more through numerous entries from 2009 and early 2010, I couldn't spot it - wondered even if he'd perhaps removed it, along with the relevant post. What I did notice, but among comments to some obituaries elsewhere, were remarks (including one from his brother) that, though usually an affable guy, RH did have "a dark side". I can only suppose that my comment had hit him on a bad day, on his dark side.
Maybe my urge to look back was a hint from "the universe" or something, or someone, to go back and investigate?
That wasn't the first time something of a similar nature had happened to me. There's always a time lag involved. I don't find out soon after a death - these are not experiences akin to someone's grandmother appearing at the foot of one's bed at the time she died. Different thing. Events years ago, on three different occasions, fall into the same category. On one occasion I discovered that an old friend had died - discovered it via a search on the net for no apparent reason, other than the urge to do so. The other two events, further back in time, were similar but minus The Miraculous Google, and resulted from simple enquiries or a letter, also "for no apparent reason". My own peculiar Twilight Zone?
