Thursday, March 12, 2020

Trying to Triage

I haven't often had reason to use the word 'triage' in everyday speech or writing, but this morning I realised that it's time to triage my several worries and anxieties.

What do I worry about first?

Is it a further spread of my cancer? Or catching - and due to compromised immune system - probably dying from, coronavirus? Or dealing with painful side effects from my medications? Or anger and disappointment at the way the US presidential election 2020 is shaping up.....etc.etc.etc.

I've been kind of self-isolating against common and garden 'flu since before Christmas 2019, so I'm used to that - it has to be the best way for me to avoid picking up this nasty new bug. I'm doing the long-playing hand-wash routine now, too. Worrying will not help, being mindful of risks might. Avoidance is, at least, possible in this case.

I'm doing everything I can to avoid a further spread of my cancer (breast/bone) by regularly taking the medications prescribed. I have, by my own choice, postponed until late this month a PET scan required to monitor my internal situation in detail. I've felt the need for some breathing space, to enjoy, without anxiety, a little more "free" time, as well as allowing more time for painful joint and muscle side effects to, perhaps, decrease to enable me to do the test more successfully. I do worry, of course, but I tell myself that, at 81, I'd be facing the big shuffle off anyway, after an eventful but very good lifetime, for which I am truly thankful.

The results of the November 2020 presidential election will be unlikely to affect me personally much, if at all, but it still depresses me that the one golden chance the people of the USA had to get a president who really and truly cares for ordinary people and their needs, is likely to have been trashed this year by Democrat bosses - corporatists, and conservative in all but title.

Bernie Sanders is a hero for continuing to fight for us - it'll be a generation or more before there's another chance such as that which has been on offer this time around. The Democrats don't want Bernie, never have, never will - he represents policies which would adversely affect their wealth and privileges. They have used every trick in the book (and more) to depress results in his favour. I've been watching more political stuff on TV lately than I have for many years - it's just so obvious what's going on. Media manipulation is, indeed, "a thing"!

As for the most likely Democrat presidential candidate - I don't dislike Joe Biden, but his age is showing, far more than is the case for Bernie Sanders. Bernie has been tearing around the country campaigning like a man half his age. Biden has done little, and when he does manage to make a bit of a speech it's weak and unimpressive. I will not use the word 'dementia', as many have in regard to Biden's speech, but I do believe that it's too late for him to make a good president. His time came some 10 to 15 years ago, when he did have charisma and a certain presidential look and sound about him. See my first blog post on Joe Biden, in 2007, here - a very different take from the one I have today. Bear in mind that, in 2007 I was still fairly wet behind the ears with regard to politics in the USA!
Biden is obviously, now, in the pocket of the oligarchs and Dem establishment. Considering his age, and the serious universal health issues which have lately arisen, I suspect that all will not proceed exactly as planned in November. This isn't as much of a worry to me as the rest of it, but it's something of which I'd dearly love to see the outcome...if other issues allow.


anyjazz said...

You'll see it. But it won't be pretty. Looking back, there was always something a few months or weeks just ahead of a general election that affected the atmosphere of the electorate. Just a nudge. This one will be showy, considering the quality of the players. Or perhaps it will be so manipulated that it ends up in a court somewhere presided over by conservative judges.

If one could go from concern and worry about the machinations and outcome, and assume more of the "fun to watch" mode, then it actually might be enjoyable.

Twilight said...

anyjazz ~ Well, if it was affecting the USA only, I'd definitely agree - but as it is, I'm not so sure. I hope you're right! But, look what's happening elsewhere!

Anonymous said...

CA felt the Bern!

"Yeah, my blood's so mad, feels like coagulatin'
I'm sittin' here just contemplatin'
I can't twist the truth, it knows no regulation"
PF Sloan, Eve of Destruction

Have you noticed how all the anti-socialist capitalists are begging for socialist bailouts during the corona crisis?

Are you eating well and gaining weight? There are many natural aromatase inhibitors. Can you abstain from your prescriptions long enough to recuperate a bit and feel better?

Twilight said...

Anonymous ~ Yes, good for CA! I bet that TX would've felt it too, had there not been so many long lines of young people waiting for hours to vote in certain areas.

I've always loved that 2010 post was about it:

Yes, very good point about bailouts.

Thanks, yes, I'm trying to eat well, but appetite occasionally goes off (a side effect). Medical marijuana tincture - a drop under tongue at bedtime, helps most of the time. A medical marijuana gummie (or part of one) will give me the munchies sometimes, but not always. I'm not "a big eater" after decades of trying to lose or maintain decent weight levels I've trained myself not to eat a lot. I'm, not gaining much weight, but my lymphocytic colitis has a bit to do with that too.

Yes, I wish I could abstain from the meds for a little while to give a break from side effects. Perhaps, after the PET scan, if there's no new nasty stuff showing the oncologist might suggest that I do just that. If he doesn't, I shall suggest it. :)

Wisewebwoman said...

Yes, it's all about quality of life now dear T. And you do have so much on your plate to worry about.

The Trump developments today have been interesting. A Repug writing in the Atlantic no less - I don't have the link but you can google - super critical of his non-handling of the Covid-19 situation.

A smidgen of hope. But then again, I am no fan of Biden, same old same old. Shame about Warren, and some of that female new blood with the piss and vinegar that is desperately needed without the corruption of mega-dollars shining in their eyes.

Ahd well, we can dream.


Twilight said...

Wisewebwoman ~ Yes, so true, WWW. Thank you and may you and yours, and your neighbours all remain safe and well. Hunkering in isn't too bad as long as we have power, books, TV/DVDs/Streaming - and if possible knitting etc. Can't risk starting knitting again until I've done that flippin' PET scan at end of Month.

Trump's incompetence is showing clearly for all to see - as if it wasn't clear enough even before this latest crisis!

Don't know what'll happen on the election/primaries front now. All will not proceed as planned, I feel certain. I hope that the Biden/Bernie debate scheduled for TV tomorrow will go ahead (even if in closed area, no audience). Biden will have to prove his worth against Bernie for all to see.

Yes, dreaming helps. and my go-to helpful poem, Desiderata's last lines:

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

R J Adams said...

Hi Annie
Not sure if you've put your comments under moderation, or not! Sometimes they appear to be enabled on my browser and I leave a comment only for it never to be published. Yes, times are dire, and to quote Gilbert & Sullivan, "...Of that there is no manner of doubt, no probable, possible shadow of doubt, no possible doubt whatever."
I cannot imagine how difficult it is for you, with all you have to bear and now the threat of this dreadful virus to contend with. I do hope Anyjazz is managing to bear up under the pressure of your illness.
It's hard to see any light shining down the tunnel at present. Our leaders are proving more of a liability than an asset, each trying to outdo the other in displaying their crass ineptitude.
Stay safe and keep Max Ehrmann's words in your heart.

Twilight said...

RJ Adams ~ Sorry about the moderation, RJ. I shall adjust the setting to allow more days before it kicks in - now that I post so infrequently 4 days before moderation isn't long enough.

Anyjazz appears to be bearing up, thank you. :) He has his own issues re heart/pacemaker etc. so we both have to be ultra careful to try to avoid this flippin' new rogue virus. He's 2 years my senior too, but "young for his age" as they say.

We must hope that there is still room for "the unexpected" to turn up (in a good way) at some point. It's little use waiting for our so-called leaders to come up with anything hope-inducing!

Stay safe, RJ!