Thursday, October 24, 2013

9 -UP

Today/tomorrow marks the 9th anniversary of my journey and setting foot, to remain permanently, on American soil. Coincidentally, while searching on a Brtish-Ex-Pats' forum for information on the wisdom or otherwise of renewing a British Passport, I spotted a thread titled "YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN THE USA TOO LONG WHEN......"
That thread stretches over nearly 100 pages, occasionally descending into ribaldry as Brits, thrown together, are wont do. I've picked out a round dozen fairly inoffensive examples of ideas put forward, in honour of my US anniversary.


If you start buying into this 'freedom' crap

When British Tories look quite sensible

If you believe USA is the 'leader of the free world' and the only place with rags-to-riches stories

When you start to fantasise about what you could do to get deported....(or start spelling fantasise as fantasize)

When your first thought on being approached by a police officer is "don't do anything to startle him and make him shoot you"

When you see nothing wrong with the fact a lot of police officers are too fat to get out of their cruisers, let alone chase down a suspect. Luckily they can just shoot first and ask questions after. Not having a problem with this is also a sign you've been here too long

When you stop trying to convert $ to £ every time you buy something

When your fork lives in your RIGHT hand (left hand for lefties!)

When you start eating that Kosher Dill spear they serve with a sandwich, something you originally thought was repulsive

When you think taking home over half your dinner in a to-go box is perfectly normal

If you start saying "different than ..." instead of "different from ..."
(PS: on this one: not me - not ever!)

If you drive a Suburban and have a concealed weapons permit (PS: ditto).


mike said...

And to think you relocated willingly, too! The ninth anniversary is pottery and willow (some say leather, too) go find a willow stick to commemorate this passing year.

“An anniversary is the perfect time to celebrate all the missed opportunities to correct a mistake, and even take vows to renew it.” Bauvard, Evergreens Are Prudish

LB said...

Twilight ~ Interesting . . . now I have a slightly better understanding of how Americans are "different from" the British. Happy 9th!

Twilight said...

mike ~ Willingly enough, but I kicked and screamed a bit at times early on. ;-)

Willow stick - maybe; fish and chips with malt vinegar tomorrow - more likely!

Twilight said...

LB ~ Thanks. There are differences, quite subtle at times, inclined to catch one unawares. :-)

anyjazz said...

Maybe we'll take the leg irons off this year.

Twilight said...

anyjazz ~ Oh goody! :-) Promise?

mike (again) said...

LOL anyjazz!

I'm curious to know why you, Twilight, moved to the USA. Why didn't anyjazz move to your side of the pond? How did the two of you meet? I know he met you in England, because an old post has photos of you and anyjazz on your turf. Did you visit here prior to your move? Did anyjazz make false promises...LOL?

R J Adams said...

Happy Ninth! Or, is that asking too much? I must search out that thread.
One I would add: when you stop believing 'Newt Gingrich' is some repulsive native dish concocted from highly spiced amphibians. (Actually, when you think about that, it's not too far from the truth!)

PS Thanks for the Eric Idle link in the Huff Post. Enjoyed it immensely.

Twilight said...

mike ~

#1...I have no close family left on t'other side of the pond, I have no offspring. He has 4 offspring and several grandchildren - now a couple of great grandchildren also. Wouldn't have been fair for me to refuse to re-locate.

#2...Met on a website online, continued long distance relationship via e-mail and the odd phone call.

#3..I came over here, to Oklahoma, for a 6-day vacation; then he came to England for, in all, around a year....just to make sure for me, that I hadn't become involved with an axe murderer (or something) and for him that he hadn't cottoned onto some kind of harpie. Jury may still be out? .....;-)

#4...No false promises...well, no deliberate ones. :-) We had many doubts about the health care problem, sorted it out with help from an expert on the Exp-pats forum along with all the long-winded and very expensive immigration crap they put one through.

They have passed very quickly, those 9 years.

Twilight said...

RJ Adams ~ Thanks RJ!

That's a good addition to the list - you should go to British Ex-pats Forum (in the Trailer Park section for USA) and add it.

Glad you liked E. Idle's words too.