Monday, December 21, 2015

Music Monday at Christmastime (oh no!)

Christmas. Music. Heart sinks! Maybe I've lived through too many musical Christmases, too many "O come all ye...", too many "Little towns", too many Silent ones, Blue ones, too much Harkening to Herald Angels, too many Pah-ra-pa-pa-pums.

Others have, occasionally, turned things around. As Washington Irving once wrote: "There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse! As I have often found in travelling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one’s position, and be bruised in a new place."

A few changes coming up.

For Americans, of a certain age, I'll bet the first that springs to mind is Walt Kelly's creation - he of "Pogo" fame - to the tune of "The Holly & the Ivy"

Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
Walla Walla, Wash., an' Kalamazoo!
Nora's freezin' on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley-garoo!

Don't we know archaic barrel
Lullaby Lilla Boy, Louisville Lou?
Trolley Molly don't love Harold,
Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!

Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Polly wolly cracker 'n' too-da-loo!
Donkey Bonny brays a carol,
Antelope Cantaloupe, 'lope with you! etc

rest is here
and elsewhere!

For the following 3 parodies I owe a huge hat-tip to Choral Net

Jingle Bells, The Yorkie version
by Isabel M. Gordon and the Brindleton BoxerKids (to the tune of "Jingle

Stomping thru the snow,
Just me and my Yorkie.
Over the fields we go,
Just so she will pee.
Darkness all around,
We know she won't obey.
Her nose is anchored to the ground
Sniffing all the way. Hey!
Midnight Run
Where's the sun?
Can't we make this quick?
When I think we're almost done
She finds something to lick. Ick!.
....(rest of lyrics at the link)

And a couple of really cynical ones to add spice, from the same linked website:

(Joe Hickerson)

Christians roasting on an open fire
Lions nibbling at their toes
Pagan carols being sung by a choir
While Romans raffle off their clothes
Everybody knows when Nero plays his violin
All of Rome will be a-glow
One dead Jew, and an Arab or two
Hare Krishna, to you.


(Christopher Hershey)

The first hard sell comes sometime in June
When last season's Christmas cards take too much room,
So they put them out in an off-season bin,
For in June they are getting their new shipments in.

Hard sell, hard sell
Hard sell, hard sell
This is the Christmas we all know so well.

About midway in July the lay-away plans
Make their laying-away-in-a-manger demands,
And installment plans begin their attempt to entice
You end up paying twice the original price.

Then early in the fall there's a pre-season bluff
To sell gift wrappings, ribbons and other such stuff
Buy it now! the ads demand, if you don't buy it, you
Will discover we're out of it when you want to.

By the time October comes, every store's lined with snares
With Halowe'en, Christmas and Thanksgiving wares;
What once were festivals that were simple and plain
All have become mere excuses for capital gain.

Alright then - I'll slap my own hands and wrists and post my proper,
tongue-out-of-cheek Christmas offering: Gaudete sung by Steeleye Span

Oh - I'd forgotten all about this one - hadn't heard it for years: Fairytale of New York, the Pogues & Kirsty MacColl


Sonny G said...

oh my , for sure:)

I think I'll stick with the traditional songs.. Come to think of it I havent heard as much Christmas music this year as I usually do..


I wanted to share my Babies with you. there's a link at the bottom of my post to see them..

mike said...

We should all be feeling VERY relieved, if Irving's quote is valid ("There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse!"). Always new levels of "worse" to explore.

"I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus"

"I Want My Money Back (Occupy Christmas)"

"Carol of the Bells" [not a parody]

mike (again) said...

Sonny - "Babies for Xmas" sounds a bit extortionist...LOL. Nice babies from what I could determine. The Pinterest link has a major blackish screen stating to sign-in or continue...clicking on continue brings-up a sign-in page eclipsing the entirety. Always something with these internet companies. Facebook links do the same thing. I refuse to join these "sharing" sites. The babies are extraordinary. How did you become a baby creator?!

Sonny G said...

sorry it would'nt let you see them Mike.. I thought it would be a way to show them to ya'll:(

as for How:) I saw one about 6 years ago in a high end shop when I was visiting down town asheville.. it was in a glass case and thats how you had to view it. no touching ~! lol

I wanted it, but not for 1500.00 bucks. I decided right then I'd figure out how to make one for myself. took me a month to get the needed info together but after that I was up n running. I made over 300 of them and sold them all on ebay. during that time people were contacting me via email wanting to custom order one based on their own wishes. size- features- hair color and such. I cut my ebay babies down to 1 every 2 weeks and started making the custom babies till I built up a nice client list that keeps growing cause of course them show them off to family and friends. I've made several that are used by local theater groups, then non local theater groups ordered a few. This seems to be a familiar issue througout my life. as I commented on one of Annie's posts-at 9 yrs old, I built a dog house for my own dog out of the scrap pile on my G'dad's building site= next thing I knew I was building a couple a week:) as a mid teen- I wanted to learn all about make up tricks:) for myself of course BUT soon ladies wanted me to do theirs for special occassions- by 17 I was doing drag queen festivals all over NC and then in NY, lol.. again, no time to eat or sleep- busy busy and busier- all because I wanted to do something for myself.. the list of ways this has occurred in my life would make my comment way to long- as well as possibly boring..
thanks for asking:)

Twilight said...

Sonny ~ Those babies you create are extraordinary - in a good way! As mike found, I similarly could look at the pictures only for a short time until Pinterest's blackout curtain came down (or up). This blackout thing didn't used to happen - I wonder if the site has been taken over in the past couple of years. anyway, I could see enough to realise how amazing your "babies" are.

Twilight said...

mike ~ I like that quote and find that there is a kernel of truth in!
Thanks for the additional Christmas song links - couldn't get through the 2nd one but enjoyed the third - in fact almost used that one in the post. :-)

mike (again) said...

Did you see that Steve Harvey crowned the wrong Miss Universe contestant last night? This is Bette Midler's Twitter response:

"Wrong #MissUniverse crowned last night. For 2 minutes. Remember when that happened with our President in 2000 & we had to keep him 8 years?"^tfw

mike (again) said...

"What would happen if Trump was an upper class English aristocrat? Comedian dubs a British voice over The Donald to make him sound more 'sophisticated'"

Twilight said...

mike (again) ~ LOL! re Miss Universe - even God (@TweetOfGod) tweeted

God ‏@TheTweetOfGod Dec 20

I'd like to apologize wholeheartedly to Miss Colombia & Miss Philippines for my huge mistake in making Steve Harvey.

Steve Harvey just made #MissUniverse2015 more of a joke than it already was, which in theory should not be possible.


I haven't yet found the Donald Trump piece but will search tomorrow. Coincidentally, while drying my hair and beginning to read (again) Douglas Adams' "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe", in the first few pages is a description of alien race Vogons. In fact the average Vogon probably wouldn't even think once. They are simple-minded, thick-willed, slug-brained creatures and thinking is not really something they are cut out for. Anatomical analysis of the Vogon reveals that its brain was originally a badly deformed, misplaced and dyspeptic liver. The fairest thing you can say about them, then, is that they know what they like, and what they like generally involves hurting people and wherever possible, getting very angry. One thing they don't like is leaving a job unfinished - particularly this Vogon and particularly - for various reasons - this job

LOL - seems faintly familiar!

Excuse copy-tying errors - it's late!

Twilight said...

mike (again) ~ LOL! LOL~! I found the Upper-class English Trump video - Dang but I was almost believing him! :-D Very cleverly done.

anyjazz said...

I must confess I was around when the first publication of Howland Owl's version of Deck the Halls was released. Been singing it that way since.

Twilight said...

anyjazz ~ Can't say I'm surprised! ;-)