Wine of Life

Writing for wine bottle labels and wine connoisseur magazines has to be a fun job. It must first entail tasting the contents, then dreaming up seductive ways of describing the taste. Nowadays attempts to seduce buyers seems to have hit new heights (or depths). I'm not a wine drinker myself, Scotch is my one and only tipple, wine gives me stomach ache. Husband is a red wine enthusiast. The small collection of labels on bottles in our wine rack usually offers up a few chuckles. In articles over the years I've seen a California cabernet, described by asking the reader to "imagine Naomi Campbell in latex"; an Australian shiraz was described as a "Chippendales dancer in leather chaps—tight, full-bodied and ready for action"; a New Zealand cabernet merlot like "a Victoria's Secret fire sale: smoky charred wood, leather, spicy and very seductive."

James Thurber's classic cartoon :

“Men are like wine-some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.”
― Pope John XXIII

People are like wines - all very different, and their " flavour" is somewhat dependent on year and location of production. Perhaps astrologers might, as an experiment, adopt the style of some more colourful wine writers.

How would my husband fare if described by an astrologer-cum-wine connoisseur? Let's see: born in Kansas, early Aries, Leo rising, Leo Moon. Mercury /Saturn in Pisces. Venus in Taurus.

From the lush wheat striped, cloud shadow dappled plains of northern USA comes this sunny, enthusiastic little number. There are hints of grandeur here, a glance which tells of royal pretense, yet beneath it all a lingering, arty, softness and sweetness. Think Laurence Olivier in pink tights, carrying a camera.

I ought to attempt my own wine-flavoured interpretation. Born in a port on the North East coast of England, Aquarius Sun, Aries Moon, Cancer rising. Mercury in Capricorn, Venus Sagittarius

The grey, storm-tossed North Sea coast of England has brought forth this somewhat obtuse and mentally energetic product. Travels well, but reacts instantly when upset. A hard working, capable little number when enthused. Think bright purple Mini-Cooper with wire wheels and political bumper stickers.

Wouldn't it be fun if we all came out of the womb with an inscription such as this on our backsides, like a bottle of wine?

Back in 2008, when I originally posted along these lines, blog-friend R.J. Adams added his personal wine-label description, I loved it, so will add it here:

Vintage '46 RJ Adams: Old fart from prunes picked on the east side of a Liverpool vineyard. A somewhat bitter taste. Lacking clarity and with just a hint of 'behind the gasworks' on the nose. Can be drunk with large bowls of scouse, but probably best used to disinfect the toilet bowl.

VINALIA

See HERE

Wiki tells that on August 19 the people of ancient Rome and its surrounding rural area celebrated Vinalia, one of two annual wine festivals.






From Ancient history, about.com

April 23, according to the William Smith Dictionary, on Lacus Curtius, was the urban Roman wine festival, Vinalia urbana, at which occasion wine casks were first opened and tasted, with a libation poured to Jupiter. Not just Rome, but all of Latium celebrated the 2nd wine festival, the Vinalia rustica on August 19, when the flamen dialis offered lambs to Jupiter and then opened the vintage for drinking.

I'm not much of a wine drinker myself, most of the dry varieties tend to leave me with stomach pains, red wines give me a nasty headache. A mild semi- sweet Moscato or Liebfraumilch is about my limit. Still, to stay in tune with Vinalia and Music Monday, a couple of wine songs and a quote from a favourite philosopher:

First, Days of Wine and Roses composed by Henry Mancini with lyrics by Johnny Mercer, from a 1962 film of the same name. A less well-known tidbit: the song's lyrics were derived from a poem by English poet and novelist Ernest Dowson - a tragic guy, worthy of a blog post all to himself, died aged 32 of alcoholism. His poem Vitae Summa Brevis, in turn is an echo of another man's words - from ancient Rome: "The brief sum of life forbids us the hope of enduring long" –Horace.

Vitae Summa Brevis by Ernest Dowson

They are not long, the weeping and the laughter,
Love and desire and hate:
I think they have no portion in us after
We pass the gate.

They are not long, the days of wine and roses:
Out of a misty dream
Our path emerges for a while, then closes
Within a dream.

See HERE.

The song, sung by the incomparable Ella:





Then there's Red Red Wine - written and sung here by Neil Diamond - the original version:




Finally, from Edward Fitzgerald's translation of of The Rubaiyat some of Omar Khayyám's words:

And much as Wine has play'd the Infidel,
And robb'd me of my Robe of Honour--Well,
I wonder often what the Vintners buy
One half so precious as the stuff they sell.

Ah, make the most of what we yet may spend,
Before we too into Dust descend;
Dust into Dust, and under Dust to lie,
Sans Wine, sans Song, sans Singer, and - sans End!

Describing Our Astro-Vintage

Writing for wine bottle labels and wine connoisseur magazines has to be a fun job. It must first entail tasting the contents, then dreaming up seductive ways of describing the taste. Nowadays attempts to seduce buyers seems to have hit new heights (or depths). I'm not a wine drinker myself, Scotch is my one and only tipple, wine gives me stomach ache. HWK is the red wine enthusiast, Chez Twilight. The small collection in our wine rack usually offers up a few chuckles, as did an article by Natalie MacLean:

"Wine X magazine (or rather 'zine) aims to "provide a new voice for a new generation of wine consumers." Describing one California cabernet, it asks us to "imagine Naomi Campbell in latex." An Australian shiraz is a "Chippendales dancer in leather chaps—tight, full-bodied and ready for action." A New Zealand cabernet merlot is like "a Victoria's Secret fire sale: smoky charred wood, leather, spicy and very seductive."

James Thurber's classic cartoon is precious:



What has all this got to do with astrology, a passing reader may ask. What indeed.

People are like wines - all very different, and their " flavour" is somewhat dependent on year and location of production. Perhaps astrologers might, as an experiment, adopt the style of some of the more colourful wine writers.

I'll experiment with HWK (my husband). Born in Kansas, early Aries, Leo rising, Leo Moon. Mercury /Saturn in Pisces. Venus in Taurus.

From the lush wheat striped, cloud shadow dappled plains of northern USA comes this sunny, enthusiastic little number. There are hints of grandeur here, a glance which tells of royal pretense, yet beneath it all a lingering, arty, softness and sweetness. Think Laurence Olivier in pink tights, carrying a camera.

And I'd better attempt my own. Born in a port on the North East coast of England, Aquarius Sun, Aries Moon, Cancer rising. Mercury in Capricorn, Venus Sagittarius

The grey, storm-tossed North Sea coast of England has brought forth this somewhat obtuse and mentally energetic product. Travels well, but reacts instantly when upset. A hard working, capable little number when enthused. Think bright purple Mini-Cooper with wire wheels and political bumper stickers.

What if we were all born with an inscription such as this on our backsides, like a bottle of wine?