Men, Men, Men....

At the weekend, fellow-blogger James at Nourishing Obscurity wrote a post titled: "Women - from the high to the low", commenting on some types of female he'd encountered during a working day. It's an entertaining read, if at times a tad worrying. James threw out an invitation/challenge for female bloggers to write in similar vein about males. Never one to ignore a challenge (Moon in Aries) - here I go.

As a female "of a certain age", retired from daily labour other than pounding a computer keyboard, and a bit of light housework, I don't get to encounter many stray males these days. Undeterred, and remembering that this blog's main focus is astrology, I scooted around the net a while and landed on a website called Red Zeppelin with a post headed Types of Douchebags, written, I think, by a male blogger. So, what follows is a male view of a selection of male types, when part of a clique. I found the piece fun to contemplate.

Disclaimer: I prefer to consider characteristics irrespective of gender. My view is that men and women display broadly similar characteristics, human characteristics. I'm not into the hackneyed view that "men are from Mars, women are from Venus". And, to be led by appearance alone, in the case of either gender, is superficial and apt to be seriously misleading ....it's akin to judging a person by their Sun sign.

I'm borrowing the illustration which follows, and descriptive paragraphs from Part One of the 2009 "Douchchebag" post linked above and recommend that passing readers consult the original for Part Two and more.

I shall allocate likely zodiac signatures (NB: Not Sun signs) to each "type", in CAPITALS. Bear in mind that all men will carry more than one signature. These signatures are my own opinion, passing readers might see things differently - if so, please do comment. Bear in mind also that these characteristics could equally apply to females.

The piece begins:

There is one rule, especially for men, that is applicable in all situations: Every male that is not your friend is, for one reason or another, a douchebag. This is true 100% of the time and in order to not be considered a douchebag, you must prove your innocence.

There are seven categories of douchebag: Judgey, One-Upper, Punchy, Aww (not represented in the illustration), Pity, Planner, and Wannabe. None any better or worse than another and most people are a combination of two or more. To figure out what type of douchebag you are, think of a situation where you are amongst a group of your friends and you meet a new person. Each clique typically has (and needs) at least one of every type. I digress.

Judgey: Also known as Silent Judgey, the Judgey does not offer much in the way of conversation except for minimal small-talk. The role of the Judgey is to draw conclusions of the new person based on secret criteria that only they know. Usually the criteria are all things that the Judgey is either good at, or knows a lot about. For example, a Judgey might silently write me off as an idiot because I ended the last sentence with the word "about". They, of course, would never tell me this but only, later, share this with other Judgies.
(VIRGO - CAPRICORN - AQUARIUS)

One-Upper: The goal of the one-upper is not necessarily to finish your story with "...oh yeah, well one time I caught a fish that was twice that size" but rather to dominate a conversation with better, more exciting topics. One-uppers will steer conversations towards themselves and things they like and are always dismissive of anything you might have to say. (LEO - ARIES - GEMINI)

Punchy: Punchy does not punch per se but is frequently oblivious to what they're saying and is not hesitant about being combative. They usually mistake the Judgey's silence for approval. Punchies can be obnoxious but also irritating in their need to be the center of attention at all times. (ARIES - SCORPIO - LEO)

Pity: Pities talk about themselves constantly and not in the way as the One-Upper or Punchy. Pities are always complaining about things they can readily control and don't expecting you to agree that their lives suck and will never get better. People that are constantly complaining about how busy they are, are Pities. As an evening progresses, the Pity can evolve into arguably the most annoying type of douchebag. (CANCER - PISCES)

Planner: Planners are typically the most friendly but need to have things their way. When you disagree with them they exhibit signs of Judgey or Punchy depending on their personality.
(VIRGO - CAPRICORN - AQUARIUS)

Wannabe: The Wannabe is usually the friend of a single group member and not widely accepted by the whole group. They do not exhibit any particular personality traits but they're always there. The Wannabe is usually down for any suggestion because it means they have friends but will never make a suggestion to do anything because they do not carry enough clout in the douchebag unit.
(CANCER)


Aww: The Aww category is reserved for people for whom the group is ambivalent. No one ever says, "Oh awesome, John is here" nor do they ever say "Oh god, John is here". For the most part Awws are just kind of there. If they were nicer they'd be exonerated from the douchebag list but they never are.
(LIBRA - TAURUS)