Monday, November 26, 2012

My Own Peculiar Twilight Zone?

I'm not at all sure that what follows is worth a post - but I want to get it out of my head so.....

You know the strange feeling that comes along occasionally - the feeling that you need to turn around, and when you do, there's someone staring at you? I experienced a variation on it the other day.

Starting at the beginning with some background or this'll sound even sillier.

A couple or so years ago, I was thinking about my first ever boss - Mr. H. I'll call him. I was always very fond of Mr. H. he taught me a lot, about politics and life in general - no romance though - more "in loco parentis" as he used to say. He died in the late 1990s. Mr. H. had three sons, the eldest of whom I'd met once or twice when he was around 7 years old, then later as a teen (I'll call him RH ). RH emigrated to work in California after university, had some kind of falling out at home I understood, but the rift was healed later on. Anyway, on that day a couple of years ago, thinking about Mr. H. I idly typed into Google's search box RH's name. It landed on a blog written by someone of that name. I read through many entries, soon realising that this was the same RH, son of Mr. H. He even mentioned and described his father's work, and other family members, in some posts. I decided to make myself known, so left what I considered to be a very nice comment, remembering his Dad with affection and admiration, and remembering RH himself as a youth. I expected to at least receive an acknowledgement in response - but nothing. Kept looking back - nothing. I felt a wee bit hurt for a while (sensitive soul that I am) then forgot about it.

A few days ago the incident popped into my mind again - for no apparent reason. "I wonder if RH is still blogging?" Google search box - again. Ahead of the entry for his blog were several obituaries from members of an association of which he'd been a longtime member. RH had died in 2010, in his 50s, after suffering a stroke, recovering and - I assume then suffering a fatal stroke soon after. He had posted entries on his blog just a week or so before he'd died.

I tried to find my comment, but in spite of skimming once more through numerous entries from 2009 and early 2010, I couldn't spot it - wondered even if he'd perhaps removed it, along with the relevant post. What I did notice, but among comments to some obituaries elsewhere, were remarks (including one from his brother) that, though usually an affable guy, RH did have "a dark side". I can only suppose that my comment had hit him on a bad day, on his dark side.

Maybe my urge to look back was a hint from "the universe" or something, or someone, to go back and investigate?

That wasn't the first time something of a similar nature had happened to me. There's always a time lag involved. I don't find out soon after a death - these are not experiences akin to someone's grandmother appearing at the foot of one's bed at the time she died. Different thing. Events years ago, on three different occasions, fall into the same category. On one occasion I discovered that an old friend had died - discovered it via a search on the net for no apparent reason, other than the urge to do so. The other two events, further back in time, were similar but minus The Miraculous Google, and resulted from simple enquiries or a letter, also "for no apparent reason". My own peculiar Twilight Zone?


♥ Sonny ♥ said...

I think we are each in our own Twilight Zone and find things and people at the what seem the oddest times.
For certain, there are No accidents so what you find and found was Meant to Be for a reason. Usually its just a case of figuring out what that is .

mike said...

Twilight, the universe can be strange and fickle when viewed from an individual's perspective! I've had more than my share of deja vu, quinky dinks, and fingers of fate. Makes life interesting, don't you think?

Mercury is retrograde until this afternoon, we're between eclipses with a full moon rising, and some interesting planetary aspects being formed right now. Maybe the portal of time-space is altering our perceptions now. I've long thought that my concept of life on Earth would be much more fun, if I could only loosen some of those rigid threads holding it all together for me!

James Higham said...

that, though usually an affable guy, RH did have "a dark side"

Bet he was "of the right" and your affable comments ...

Well, that's one theory anyway. But yes, it's not nice being ignored.

Twilight said...

Sonny ~~ Yes - one way of looking at these strange experiences, and quite a comforting one too. :-)

Twilight said...

mike ~~ It does make life interesting and intriguing, yes!

I like the idea of a portal in time and space through which maybe the primeval part of our brain/mind can squeeze and discover hidden messages.....then come back and tell the more modern areas of grey matter to give the owner an itch to scratch. :-)

Twilight said...

James Higham ~~ No, James - he wasn't "of the right" from what I could glean - far from it. Seemed more of the curmudgeon type though, didn't suffer fools etc. Perhaps he drank a lot - don't know. But he seemed to have inherited his politics from his Dad as well as a nice sense of humour. He had studied science and astronomy at Uni, and taught science, so perhaps he followed my link (his blog was a Blogger blogspot job too), saw the word astrology and thought (as many do) "just another nitwit....I'll ignore her", a scientific type like me can't be seen corresponding with that type if idiot. ;-)

Wisewebwoman said...

My first thought, T, was that he was at odds with his dad and your kindness lay too much in that direction.

But who knows?

I chased down an old lover a few years back, we had an awful falling out, his rage was terrifying. Don't know why I did and then lo and b - his obit came up. Stomach cancer. Dead 2 years to the day we broke up after fighting all night. Well he fought, I went numb.

Yes the skin is very thin between the ether now and again, the old Irish ways had it we could connect when the universe nudged.

We must pay more attention.


Twilight said...

Wisewebwoman ~~ That's possible. I thought the rift had been healed, but could be wrong about that.

Your experience is not dissimilar to mine then.

Yes, we must pay more attention. These things take us by surprise, make a mark in our memory bank, then get overlaid by so much more and become buried....until the next odd occurence, when other, earlier oddities come flooding back.

The Irish knew a thing or two...

James Higham said...

Seemed more of the curmudgeon type though

Good chap, eh? Didn't appreciate what he had on his hands, the fool. You pass by but once and all that.