Wednesday, October 25, 2017

13 ...."treat 'em mean"

Today marks the 13th anniversary of my setting foot, to remain permanently, on American soil. A few years ago, when marking my 9th year in the USA, I quoted from something on
a Brtish-Ex-Pats' forum:
The relevant thread stretched over nearly 100 pages, occasionally descending into ribaldry as Brits, thrown together, are wont do. Here, again, are a round dozen fairly inoffensive examples of ideas, repeated in honour of my current USA anniversary, with updated observations from me, in italics, in square brackets.


If you start buying into this 'freedom' crap [gets less and less likely by the day]

When British Tories look quite sensible [Still applies - though PM May is pushing it!]

If you believe USA is the 'leader of the free world' and the only place with rags-to-riches stories ["rags to riches" ? That's a joke, with many here having to choose between adequate food on the table and keeping warm during winter]

When you start to fantasise about what you could do to get deported...[or start spelling fantasise as fantasize]

When your first thought on being approached by a police officer is "don't do anything to startle him and make him shoot you" [You actually do not have to be here for long, for this thought to occur!]

When you see nothing wrong with the fact a lot of police officers are too fat to get out of their cruisers, let alone chase down a suspect. Luckily they can just shoot first and ask questions after. Not having a problem with this is also a sign you've been here too long [Yep! Still a problem.]

When you stop trying to convert $ to £ every time you buy something [I've been here too long by this yardstick!]

When your fork lives in your RIGHT hand, left hand for lefties! [Moi: the uncouth US mode is good for spaghetti only!]

When you start eating that Kosher Dill spear they serve with a sandwich, something you originally thought was repulsive [I've been here too long - the tartness of the dill detracts from the sweetness of much bread used in sandwiches in the USA]

When you think taking home over half your dinner in a to-go box is perfectly normal [If I don't eat it there, I will certainly not eat it at home!]

If you start saying "different than ..." instead of "different from ..."
[PS: on this one: not me - not ever!]

If you drive a Suburban and have a concealed weapons permit [PS: ditto].


R J Adams said...

I'm glad to see you're still clinging to a touch of 'British-ness'. I would have said 'European-ism,' but that hint of identity is rapidly fading from the British psyche.
PS I think I was 'there' too long after the first three months!
PPS Happy Anniversary!

Twilight said...

RJ Adams ~ Thanks RJ! I never did feel all that Yur-pean to be honest, but I'd never have voted to leave Yurp. That's "another nice mess" they've got themselves into! :-/

I don't feel much different, now, from how I felt 13 years ago - still just "me". :-)
I understand your early disenchantment - it's not hard to feel disenchanted by the USA. If I and anyjazz had been, say, 20 years younger, I doubt we'd still be here - Canada might have beckoned.

Wisewebwoman said...

Happy anniversary. I know love sustains you over and above the snakepit the USA has become.

Canada has missed out on a great couple.


Twilight said...

Wiewebwoman ~ Awww - that's sweet of you, WWW. :-)