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Here's another helping of "You Were Born on a Rotten Day" by Jim Critchfield and Jerry Hopkins, bravely published in 1969, surprisingly reprinted in a further four editions. As I remind myself when posting each monthly section, the book was probably one of the first ever attempts to spoof (or ridicule) astrology columns, its novelty may have accounted for its success. In our 21st century world it doesn't work too well, it's just not witty or sophisticated enough for today's readers, or so I surmise. In a successful spoof, such as the movie "Blazing Saddles", the writer had wide knowledge of the genre he was spoofing(western movies). That was patently not so in the case of this book. A good spoof works on two levels, it's superficially funny for an audience not well versed in the specific genre, and funny on a deeper level for the in-crowd who are able to pick up all the clever, and usually affectionate, references. This book doesn't really work on either level, but it is a little piece of history.
PISCES
"Pisces is the sexiest of all Birth Signs. Nothing daunts a panting Pisces. Pisces men have been known to walk 27 miles just to whisper sweet nothings in a librarian's ear. Pisces men are sweet and gentle with the opposite sex and many excel at bilking old maids and widows out of money.
Women born under this sign are also romantically inclined and have trim, lithe, well formed gums. A Pisces lady is open and sharing, especially if you buy her a beer or two.
All people of this sign are happy individuals, giggling even at traffic tickets, volcanoes, and four years of bad crops.
Society does not reap its fullest from the Pisces-born because so many slip into obscurity before they drop out of third grade. While in school, however, they do shine at dusting erasers, passing notes, and flirting with married math teachers.
If you are a Pisces, you don't have a lucky number, which serves you right, and your Lucky Star was recently arrested for making one of those movies".
And... from "A Typical Miserable Pisces Month"
3rd
"If you were born before 3pm today, go home. You're too young to be working."
18th
"Good time to do something flippant. Toss a few coins in the air."
25th
Prepare for a surprise
26th
Prepare for a disppointment
27th
Keep preparing. something's bound to happen
PISCES
"Pisces is the sexiest of all Birth Signs. Nothing daunts a panting Pisces. Pisces men have been known to walk 27 miles just to whisper sweet nothings in a librarian's ear. Pisces men are sweet and gentle with the opposite sex and many excel at bilking old maids and widows out of money.
Women born under this sign are also romantically inclined and have trim, lithe, well formed gums. A Pisces lady is open and sharing, especially if you buy her a beer or two.
All people of this sign are happy individuals, giggling even at traffic tickets, volcanoes, and four years of bad crops.
Society does not reap its fullest from the Pisces-born because so many slip into obscurity before they drop out of third grade. While in school, however, they do shine at dusting erasers, passing notes, and flirting with married math teachers.
If you are a Pisces, you don't have a lucky number, which serves you right, and your Lucky Star was recently arrested for making one of those movies".
And... from "A Typical Miserable Pisces Month"
3rd
"If you were born before 3pm today, go home. You're too young to be working."
18th
"Good time to do something flippant. Toss a few coins in the air."
25th
Prepare for a surprise
26th
Prepare for a disppointment
27th
Keep preparing. something's bound to happen
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