Sunday's Song and Alternative Zodiac Definitions

I wonder what advice astrologers might give to a lad or lass singing the following heartfelt ditty?
Here's my advice: (wink)
"Stop all that partying on Saturday nights, study astrology instead - then you'll know what to look for. Alternatively, buy a dog!"

A SUNDAY KIND OF LOVE

I want a Sunday Kind of Love.

A love to last, past Saturday night.

I'd like to know that it's more than love at first sight.

I need a Sunday Kind of Love.

Oh yeah, I need a love that's on the square.

Can't seem to find that somebody, someone to care.

I'm on a lonely road that leads me nowhere.

I need a Sunday kind of love.

I do my Sunday dreaming, oh yeah all my Sunday scheming.

Every minute, every hour, every day

Oh I'm hoping to discover that certain kind of lover

Who will show me the way.

My arms need someone to enfold

Keeping me warm when Monday's and Tuesday's grow cold.

Love for all my life to have and to hold.

Oh I want a Sunday kind of love.

(Words & Music by Barbara Belle, Louis Prima, Anita Leonard & Stan Rhodes Recorded by Etta James, Jo Stafford and others in the past, by Reba McEntire, Renee Olstead, and Christina Aguilera more recently.)

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I chuckled over these alternative definitions of zodiac signs written by Dennis, The Rambling Man.

Here's a taster - for Capricorn and Aquarius

The old…
December 22 to January 20…Capricorn
The new…
December 22 to January 20…Lava Lamp…Those born under the sign of the Lava Lamp can be as mysterious as they are persnickety. They seldom understand simple instructions and will expend more energy to get out of doing something than it would have taken to do it in the first place. This is, of course, why most Lava Lamps work for the government.

The old…
January 21 to February 19…Aquarius
The new…
January 21 to February 19…Scissors…Those born under the sign of Scissors have an innate fear of rock, but are fearless and unbeatable in the presence of paper. Because of the obvious danger involved, experienced marathon participants are not foolish enough to run with Scissors. Even with all this going for them they are not particularly sharp and there is no point to their existence.